The Time Apart

I’m interrupting my little mini-series about my adventures in Prince Edward Island to get some things off my chest.  It’s going to get a bit serious in this blog for this post.  Laura, I know you’re reading this, too.  I think this blog may make you emotional.  I’m sorry if I get you teary, but I have some things to say.

As you may or may not know, I am currently nearing the end of a 3 week long vacation visiting my wonderful girlfriend, Laura, in New Brunswick, Canada.  It’s 1 of 2 vacation times each year in which I get to see her in person.  Yes, we’re in a long distance relationship made possible by the miracle of the Internet, Skype, and phones.  In my opinion, Laura and I have a very strong relationship.  We are open and honest with each other, sometimes even brutally for the other’s own good.  We support each other as much as possible whenever needed.  We laugh together, cry together, we talk.  We talk a lot.  Being in a long distance relationship, the only thing we have consistently with each other is communication.  This is why I think our relationship is so strong.  We are able to talk to each other, say what we need to say, and work with each other if something is wrong.  While in the past we’ve had trouble saying things that needed to be said, we have been able to overcome the habit of keeping things bottled and are able to open up more than ever before.  Neither one of us carries this relationship alone.  This relationship is strong because we both work hard at it.

The downside to our long distance relationship is, well, the long distance.  You might think, “Well, of course.  You’re long distance.  You probably don’t trust each other, right?  You both think that the other is screwing around when the webcam is turned off.”  To this, I tell you, WRONG.  Laura and I both know what happens to families, to couples, that don’t trust each other or aren’t faithful to each other.   Neither one of us, never, would ever be so stupid as to ruin what we have by sneaking around behind each others’ backs.

The distance problem has everything to do with physicality.  And, yes, that does include the intimacy things, those passionate moments where we just can’t seem to keep our hands to ourselves.  But it also includes those simple things.  Eating together, holding hands while walking through a mall, gazing into each others’ loving eyes instead of a cold, brightly lit video stream.  When we’re not together, we desperately miss the simple things: kissing (even if only on the cheek), hugging, a loving shoulder to cry on when things are bad, someone to dance with when things are happy.  We can’t go on dates, share desserts, sit next to each other at the movies.  Let me just some it up simply.  Long distance in a relationship just absolutely and one hundred percent sucks.

However, we make it work. We keep talking, loving, laughing, crying, everything together.  We take the moments that we can get together for now and cherish them with every bone in our bodies.  We work through this hard time apart with a brave, hopeful smile for the future.  Why?  Because some day, and some day hopefully very soon, the distance won’t exist.  Some day, I will make this woman my wife.  Because I love her and I need her in my life, some day, this woman will be a full blown citizen of the US and she will be able to legally live with me.

Leaving her side, like I will have to do within a few days, is the hardest thing I have to do every time I do it.  I will miss being next to her and able to hold and caress her whenever I want.  But I did love being with her physically, even for this short amount of time.  And the next time I am with her in person, I vow to put a ring on her finger and pop that question.  Maybe, just maybe, that will make our time apart worth it in the end.


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