Reader Beware Month: Confessions of a Teenage Vampire

I recently came across something in my book collection that I hadn’t seen in a long time.  Indeed, the existence of this particular title had all but slipped my mind completely.  Apparently, I have been a fan of horror comics since I was a pre-teen kid as evidenced by today’s comic, Confessions of a Teenage Vampire.

Lily Jordon is a high school student and history nerd.  She romanticizes the past and fantasizes of living in the 1600s.  When a mansion in her neighborhood that has been abandoned for hundreds of years suddenly receives a new owner, her curiosity is peeked.  However, the man bares a striking resemblance to a person only found in history books.  Could he be the same man from centuries ago?  And why does he keep all curtains drawn and only come out at night?

I remember stumbling upon this comic at a thrift shop when I was about 11 or so.  It wasn’t expensive and, being a fan of the supernatural, I just had to get it.  Even as a kid, it didn’t take me long to read this comic in full.  It’s only 72 pages and the panels are all fairly big.  Still, as a kid, it must have made an impact on me if I’ve kept it around this long.

The story of the comic is decent enough.  However, it felt like the plot went far too quickly to be fully realized.  Scenes went by too quickly, characters didn’t have time to develop or flesh out.  It felt like I was reading in fast-forward.  Also, the ending is basically given away in the title and premise of the story:  Lily becomes a vampire.  Yes, Confessions of a Teenage Vampire only has the teenager becoming a vampire at the very end.  I felt like this story should have slowed itself down a bit and gone on for longer.

The incredible shortness of the story means that the characters are all very generic:  the overly polite gentleman who turns out to be a vampire, the nerdy main girl, the bully, and the bad guy.  None of them felt like they had a personality outside of their stereotypes.  The bad guy of the piece hardly even gets a presence in the story.  The lifeless characters made this one pretty dull.

One bright side of the comic is the artwork.  The whole thing has a cartoon-y vibe.  The style reminds me a lot of what the Buffy Animated Series would have looked like.  However, even the artwork has shortcomings.  Sometimes, a character looks too bizarre to fit the style and it stands out as being bizarre.  Other times… Well, there are times in the book where characters are missing their eyes for no good reason.  Yes, Liefeld’s disease.  (To the few of you who get that reference, thank you.)

I can’t in good conscience recommend this comic.  It’s generic, short, and lacks any sort of punch.  I can’t say I hated the comic either, though.  The artwork was, for the most part, decent and the premise wasn’t too bad.  I expected more from a vampire story, though, and I can see why the series only got one other book (Zombie Saturday Night).  For a story about the undead, this book really lacked any sort of bite.


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