Review: Lucy

I consider myself a man of reasonable intelligence.  I’m not a genius, but I can get by.  I was a smart kid, at least.  I did really well in school and still do well as a graduate student.  And yet, I don’t feel like I was smart enough for this movie.  When this movie was over, there was just one word in my head:  What?  This is Lucy.

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This movie is… Uh… It’s about… Uhm… Well… It’s about… an hour and a half too long?  I can’t give you the plot for this movie because, by the end of it, the movie has its head so far up its own ass, the plot doesn’t matter.  The premise of the movie is Scarlett Johansson’s character, Lucy, is roped into a drug trafficking scheme that ends up with her getting super powers because she has unlocked the full potential of her brain or something.  If you think the rest of the movie is about her getting revenge over her kidnappers, you are wrong.  After she gets super powers, the movie stops having a point.

It’s safe to say that the story for this movie doesn’t make much sense.  Let’s get the obvious out of the way:  The whole “humans only use 10% of their brain” has been proven to be false for a while now.  Outside of that, though, the movie just doesn’t seem to care about it’s own plot.  I’ve heard that their are movies that are supposed to be “experiences” rather than telling a story.  I’m told 2001:  A Space Odyssey is like this.  It seems to me like this movie is supposed to be something along those lines.  If that’s the case, I’m never watching an “experience” movie again because they make absolutely no sense to me.

There is no acting in this movie.  There are ACTORS, but every single one of them must have decided just not to act in this movie.  Once Scarlett Johansson gets her superpowers, she decides to turn into a robot and show absolutely no emotions for the rest of the movie.  Morgan Freeman looks about as confused as I am for the entirety of his performance.  The rest of the cast are hardly in the movie to the point that they don’t matter.

One last thing to talk about:  The editing is…  “Annoying” is a word that comes to mind.  So are “confusing,” “ridiculous,” and, like the rest of the movie, “utterly pointless.”  There are far too many times where, for no reason at all, the editor decides to put in shots of animals.  They don’t even try to tie these animal shots into the narrative, they just sort of do it.  Sometimes the images fit… “thematically,” to use the term very loosely, but otherwise, they just felt jarring for the viewer.

I can boil my review of this movie down to 4 words:  I don’t get it.  I don’t get the story it was trying to tell.  I don’t get the message it was trying to give the audience.  I don’t get the lesson it was trying to teach.  If I was supposed to just FEEL the movie, here’s what it made me feel:  An hour and a half of my time flying away from me second by second in a movie theater.  This movie was pointless, meandering bullshit that feels it’s too pretentious to have a point.  I’d say you’d find more enjoyment from hitting yourself with big, hardcover copies of books about physics and philosophy.

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