Crypt-ober: No More Mr. Nice Guy (Freddy’s Nightmares)

Freddy Krueger. And just like that, you have his face and outfit in your head. Freddy’s so well ingrained in the mind of not only horror culture but all of entertainment, all you need to do is to say his name and people will be able to picture him. But did you know he had his own horror anthology series? Apparently, New Line Cinema originally wanted to make an ongoing series with a follow-able story line, but then they literally said “Nah, Freddy would win every time. There would be no characters left.” So, they opted for a horror anthology with the dream slasher as our horror host. Can Freddy really hack it on the silver screen or is this all just a really bad dream? Let’s find out with the first episode, No More Mr. Nice Guy.

Image result for No More Mr. Nice Guy (Freddy's Nightmares)

Known child murder, Freddy Krueger, is on trial. Unfortunately, he’s set free because he was never read his rights at his arrest. Nevertheless, the townsfolk take matters into their own hands, thus turning Freddy into the powerful nightmare monster everyone knows and loves. His “first” victim? The cop that killed him.

I want to start off with something positive, so… I guess the cinematography is nice. Everything feels nice and atmospheric when it’s trying to do horror.  The dream sequences looked pretty cool when they came up. The effects are… fine, I guess. We don’t get a really good look at them, which was probably done intentionally to hide their shabby quality. Visually, this show isn’t bad. Well… Except for one thing.

I don’t know who they were trying to fool but that was not Robert Englund throughout the majority of the ep. They wouldn’t show his face (it was always hidden in shadow) and they didn’t even have whoever it was doing a half-decent impression. Maybe Robert had scheduling conflicts and couldn’t really don the fedora for too long in the show’s first outing. He honestly doesn’t do a lot as the host, either. He just kinda comes in and says “Here’s a nightmare” and… that’s it. Minimal hosting efforts at best. It was a bit disappointing to not see Freddy really hamming it up like the Cryptkeeper. Then again, this WAS the show’s first episode. Maybe they were just trying to find the right tone.

Fine, fine. I’ll talk about it. The story was BORING. The story is so familiar to anyone who has ever seen the movies that it almost doesn’t even matter. The pacing is off and the suspense is null. Frankly, you KNOW what will happen from the first minute and it’s a real chore to get to the one and only kill of the episode. I found my mind wandering more than once. At least there’s one saving grace for this entire endeavor: The acting.

The acting is hilariously awful. This is some “so bad it’s good” quality acting right here. The people who aren’t one-dimensional and wooden are so cheesy and over the top that you can’t take them seriously. The main cop actor tries so desperately hard to be a “legitimate actor” that it’s almost pitiful to watch him fail so miserably.

Still, even with some funny bad acting, I can’t in good conscience recommend this episode. It’s boring and far too long. There’s so many other, better horror anthology shows that can take up your time. This one is just a snoozefest. I’m surprised I didn’t fall asleep… Then again… Maybe I did.

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