Review: Disney’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Why am I reviewing an old-ish Disney movie? Because I want to and I can.

Disney definitely does not have a spotless record when it comes to their movies. They have some rather significant blemishes on their name, like Home on the Range. But one film that people seem to give some hate to is the Hunchback of Notre Dame. And, honestly, I never understood the extreme emotions against this film. Sure, I never thought it would make my Top 10 Disney movies list, but I didn’t think it was a spit in the face of the audience either. Still, I haven’t seen the movie in at least over a decade. Have my thoughts changed? Is this movie truly deplorable? Let’s find out. This is Disney’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

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Here’s to the Future! (Happy Birthday, Laura!)

As many of you might now, February 14th is not just Valentine’s Day. It is also my fiancée, Laura‘s, birthday! Today, she is 29 years old. Now, I would normally make some “all-in-good-fun” jabs at her, or I would write some mushy note specifically for her. But instead, I thought I’d do something different. We hope to be married this year (if the stupid “travel ban” stuff doesn’t effect our immigration plans, at least) and I want to talk about what I think married life will be like.

Now, obviously, we’ll probably go through a “honeymoon” phase where we’ll be all over each other. We’ll be so relieved and so happy that our time apart has finally come to an end. Everything will feel surreal, I think. Like it’s all a dream. Or maybe like that long time away from each other was a dream. I imagine we’ll have a lot of physical moments we don’t get often. Holding hands, leaning against each other, hugging, soft caresses, and all that dirty stuff too. We’ll pay attention to those moments because we’ve had too few of them over our time together so far.

I imagine our affection for each other will never fully go away. We’ll always be tender and gentle in little ways, helping each other even when the other doesn’t notice. I think, perhaps, our affection will change a little, though not much. We’ll always cherish our physical moments because of how our relationship officially started.

There will be hard times. We’ve never lived together, so we’re going to have to figure that out. We’ve never had financial problems together, so that will be stressful. Still, we will work through every struggle. We will fight for our relationship no matter what. We will remain loyal and strong for each other for however long we can.

We’ll always be kids at heart. I’m sure of it. We’re gonna watch cartoons and Disney movies well into our 80s and 90s. We’re going to play video games until we physically can’t anymore. We’ll go to Disney every year at least once per year. All that said, we’ll never have kids other than animals and both of us are happy with that.

When we’re old and fat(ter) and gray, we’ll still love each other. We’ll work at it day after day. We’ll be so comfortable with each other that doing things together will be second nature. And we’ll think fondly on our past, on our struggles, our long distance start, our ups and downs, and we’ll smile and laugh and hug.

This is just a long and convoluted way of saying I LOVE YOU, LAURA. We have a long, bright future ahead of us and I can’t wait to share it with you.  We’re going to be one of the best married couples in our lives. I can already feel it. Happy birthday and Happy Valentine’s Day to you, my love.

The “I’m Sick” Update

I’m sick. Not horrendously sick. Nothing life threatening. Just a common cold. Still, my joints are semi-achy, my nose is dripping, and my chest hurts from coughing so much.

Still, you all deserve a small something to read, so here’s an update on my life.

I’ve been re-watching Firefly recently just cause I’ve been in the mood. If I feel better, I’ll write up a blog on some thoughts I have had later this weekend.

I haven’t written a single word of a new script. Script writing and the Spook Factor in general have both been rattling around in my mind. I’ll let you know if any plans change.

That’s all I’m prepared to share and all you care about anyway, probably. I’m going to go cough out a lung and get some rest.

4 Disney Villains With Terrible Plans

I’ve been really obsessed with Cracked.com lately, specifically their series After Hours. For those who haven’t seen, four friends sit around at table nitpicking popular culture to hell and back. So, I’ve been in the mood to do the same. And what better franchise to cut to ribbons than the all-powerful kingdom of the mouse.

There have been a number of memorable Disney villains throughout the years. They have great designs, over-the-top personalities, a bumbling henchman or two. The villains are the best parts of Disney movies. But do they always have the best laid plans? You’d be surprised how quickly some of these plots fall apart the more you poke at them. So, I’m here to talk about 4 Disney villains whose plans were bullshit. I’m not disputing their evil-ness or anything like that. I’m just saying that these four plans are stupid and pointless. Here they are in no particular order.

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Flicking Through Netflix: A Series of Unfortunate Events (Season 1)

If you’re looking for something to read that talks about happy stories, helpful adults, and kids who always get out of every situation without a scratch, I’m afraid you’ve come to the wrong blog. Perhaps you can find something happier to read, like a story of happy little elves having happy little adventures. As for me, I have declared it my solemn duty to write down my thoughts and observations from watching the frightful fate of the Baudelaire children and their preposterous plights. Plight is a word which here means unfortunate situations, which is unfortunately the perfect word to describe the lives of the Baudelaire children. It is appropriate because those very children find themselves all too often in A Series of Unfortunate Events.

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My Life Journal: Teaching At A Prison

I’ve had a semi-complicated relationship with the concept of employment. While I was in school (including college), my parents basically forbid me from getting a job. This is mostly because of my sister, who got a job in high school and stopped caring about school after that. She dropped out of college and my parents didn’t want me to do that. So, after getting my Bachelor’s and Master’s, the world of employment finally opened up to me. Unfortunately, my first two “jobs” were just unpaid internships that were more busy work than anything else. Put simply, my employers weren’t all that good and didn’t really need me. So, instead, I consider my first official “job” to be the first one that actually payed me. And that job had me working at a prison.

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Reader Beware: Hack Slash (Horror Comic)

Fair warning to all the kiddies out there, this comic is strictly for the mature crowd. The contents of this comic contains drugs, sex, and adult language. Reader discretion is advised.

Slashers are one of the most popular horror genres of all time. It would take me hours to count how many slasher franchises/movies have been made in movies alone. Famous slashers are basically household names. But what about the people who survive them? The Final Girls, as TV Tropes calls them. Some of them live happily ever after. Some of them are forced to try to survive sequels. And one of them becomes a hunter of hunters. This is Hack Slash.

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