Review: The Maximum Ride Movie

I first started reading the Maximum Ride books as a teenager. Being that they are supposed to be teen adventures, I thought I’d give them a shot. And I loved them… For the first three books. Then the Final Warning happened. It sucked so hard that I made a video about it (that no longer exists online). Then James Patterson, the writer, decided to keep going with the franchise after he’d already buried it in shit. It got better… ish. Still, I DID like the first three books. So when I heard that they were making a movie adaptation of the first book, I was thrilled. When I heard it was in development hell for a while, I was less thrilled. When I heard it was going direct to TV, I got a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. So, was this movie worth the wait or is this flick for the birds? This is Maximum Ride.

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Flicking Through Netflix: The West Wing (First Impressions)

Apparently I like political dramas. This is particularly strange given the fact that I hate actual politics. But I do love shows like House of Cards and Designated Survivor, where I find the politics fascinating despite my distaste for the subject in the real world. Still, good characters go a long way into making me interested in a story. This, along with a very strong recommendation from my mother, made me check out The West Wing, a popular political show from the early 2000s. I went into it a little wary, especially given the current state of the world. But I did want to give it a shot. However, not having seen the complete first season yet, I do want to just give my first impressions. So, these are my initial thoughts on The West Wing.

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Review: Disney’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Why am I reviewing an old-ish Disney movie? Because I want to and I can.

Disney definitely does not have a spotless record when it comes to their movies. They have some rather significant blemishes on their name, like Home on the Range. But one film that people seem to give some hate to is the Hunchback of Notre Dame. And, honestly, I never understood the extreme emotions against this film. Sure, I never thought it would make my Top 10 Disney movies list, but I didn’t think it was a spit in the face of the audience either. Still, I haven’t seen the movie in at least over a decade. Have my thoughts changed? Is this movie truly deplorable? Let’s find out. This is Disney’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

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Here’s to the Future! (Happy Birthday, Laura!)

As many of you might now, February 14th is not just Valentine’s Day. It is also my fiancée, Laura‘s, birthday! Today, she is 29 years old. Now, I would normally make some “all-in-good-fun” jabs at her, or I would write some mushy note specifically for her. But instead, I thought I’d do something different. We hope to be married this year (if the stupid “travel ban” stuff doesn’t effect our immigration plans, at least) and I want to talk about what I think married life will be like.

Now, obviously, we’ll probably go through a “honeymoon” phase where we’ll be all over each other. We’ll be so relieved and so happy that our time apart has finally come to an end. Everything will feel surreal, I think. Like it’s all a dream. Or maybe like that long time away from each other was a dream. I imagine we’ll have a lot of physical moments we don’t get often. Holding hands, leaning against each other, hugging, soft caresses, and all that dirty stuff too. We’ll pay attention to those moments because we’ve had too few of them over our time together so far.

I imagine our affection for each other will never fully go away. We’ll always be tender and gentle in little ways, helping each other even when the other doesn’t notice. I think, perhaps, our affection will change a little, though not much. We’ll always cherish our physical moments because of how our relationship officially started.

There will be hard times. We’ve never lived together, so we’re going to have to figure that out. We’ve never had financial problems together, so that will be stressful. Still, we will work through every struggle. We will fight for our relationship no matter what. We will remain loyal and strong for each other for however long we can.

We’ll always be kids at heart. I’m sure of it. We’re gonna watch cartoons and Disney movies well into our 80s and 90s. We’re going to play video games until we physically can’t anymore. We’ll go to Disney every year at least once per year. All that said, we’ll never have kids other than animals and both of us are happy with that.

When we’re old and fat(ter) and gray, we’ll still love each other. We’ll work at it day after day. We’ll be so comfortable with each other that doing things together will be second nature. And we’ll think fondly on our past, on our struggles, our long distance start, our ups and downs, and we’ll smile and laugh and hug.

This is just a long and convoluted way of saying I LOVE YOU, LAURA. We have a long, bright future ahead of us and I can’t wait to share it with you.  We’re going to be one of the best married couples in our lives. I can already feel it. Happy birthday and Happy Valentine’s Day to you, my love.

The “I’m Sick” Update

I’m sick. Not horrendously sick. Nothing life threatening. Just a common cold. Still, my joints are semi-achy, my nose is dripping, and my chest hurts from coughing so much.

Still, you all deserve a small something to read, so here’s an update on my life.

I’ve been re-watching Firefly recently just cause I’ve been in the mood. If I feel better, I’ll write up a blog on some thoughts I have had later this weekend.

I haven’t written a single word of a new script. Script writing and the Spook Factor in general have both been rattling around in my mind. I’ll let you know if any plans change.

That’s all I’m prepared to share and all you care about anyway, probably. I’m going to go cough out a lung and get some rest.

4 Disney Villains With Terrible Plans

I’ve been really obsessed with Cracked.com lately, specifically their series After Hours. For those who haven’t seen, four friends sit around at table nitpicking popular culture to hell and back. So, I’ve been in the mood to do the same. And what better franchise to cut to ribbons than the all-powerful kingdom of the mouse.

There have been a number of memorable Disney villains throughout the years. They have great designs, over-the-top personalities, a bumbling henchman or two. The villains are the best parts of Disney movies. But do they always have the best laid plans? You’d be surprised how quickly some of these plots fall apart the more you poke at them. So, I’m here to talk about 4 Disney villains whose plans were bullshit. I’m not disputing their evil-ness or anything like that. I’m just saying that these four plans are stupid and pointless. Here they are in no particular order.

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Flicking Through Netflix: A Series of Unfortunate Events (Season 1)

If you’re looking for something to read that talks about happy stories, helpful adults, and kids who always get out of every situation without a scratch, I’m afraid you’ve come to the wrong blog. Perhaps you can find something happier to read, like a story of happy little elves having happy little adventures. As for me, I have declared it my solemn duty to write down my thoughts and observations from watching the frightful fate of the Baudelaire children and their preposterous plights. Plight is a word which here means unfortunate situations, which is unfortunately the perfect word to describe the lives of the Baudelaire children. It is appropriate because those very children find themselves all too often in A Series of Unfortunate Events.

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