Okay, time for a completely off the cuff, unplanned post. I have absolutely no idea what I’m going to be writing about here. Probably just a lot of rambling and ranting about my current life situations.
Why am I making this post if I don’ have a specific topic in mind? Well, simply put, I hate it when people I read/watch just disappear without a word. Which is funny coming from me as that happens to me so often. Here’s the thing: I have been really busy. I know that sounds like an excuse, but it’s true. I have an actual paying job now. And the whole situation regarding my grandmother has been one constant struggle after another.
Look, the bottom line here is that I feel completely unmotivated right now to do anything that I’m not paid to do. I don’t know why. I’ve been working on this stupid script for the second episode of Spook Factor for 6 months. I haven’t even felt like writing a simple blog post for a while. I guess because I don’t have TOO much free time, I don’t FEEL like doing anything that feels like work. I find myself with a lot of time to kill, instead of writing, I’ll watch videos or hang out with friends.
And that leads to me feeling guilty that I haven’t done anything a while. Which makes me want to work on some writing or scripting or filming. But then, I go to do that, and it feels like too much work with the amount of stress in my life right now.
Long story short, I’m stuck in the middle of an endless cycle of stress, laziness, guilt, and shame. Now, don’t get me wrong. My life is great. I like my job (though there’s one part of it that’s thankfully over that I want to blog about soon), I love my family (though some parts are very stressful), and I even have a visit planned with my lovely fiancee. I guess I’m just… tired. I’m seriously tired of being in this funk.
I’ll climb out of it eventually, I promise. I think I just need a little more time. And, soon, I hope to start up that spooky side project of mine. Until then, just let me have my rest. Hopefully none of you are too disappointed. I have no plans to ever fully stop what I’m doing, I promise. See you in the (hopefully) not to distant future.
Richard's Weekly Journal 